


Detainment & Flirting

by iitsmakeyah



Series: fem Peter Parker [1]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: BAMF Wade Wilson, Confident Peter Parker, Deadpool Thought Boxes, Deadpool being Deadpool, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, F/M, Female Peter Parker, Female Peter Parker/Wade Wilson, Flirting, Nick Fury is Not Amused, Peter Parker Flirts Back, Peter is a Little Shit, Pretty Wade Wilson, SHIELD, Sexual Humor, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Voice Kink, Wade Wilson Flirts, peter still has the name peter cause i didn't want to change it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:47:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26777611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iitsmakeyah/pseuds/iitsmakeyah
Summary: Wade's usual shtick, getting chimichangas, unaliving bad people, and flirting with Peter.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Series: fem Peter Parker [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1952269
Comments: 5
Kudos: 91





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i started another series and this series is really just to write better tbh and because i like the idea of female peter. i am going to update ifilwamb, hopefully on Monday.

[White]

**{Yellow}**

* * *

He should’ve known that this would happen, he was getting good at staying under SHIELD’s radar but this time he would admit that he messed up. Honest to god, he’ll swear up and down that he wouldn’t have gotten caught if the boxes hadn’t suggested tacos. 

Wade had just finished a job, killing a drug lord who sold kids along with the drugs he was selling and Wade might’ve impaled him on both of his katanas and sliced his head off but those are minor details but the boxes had suggested Mexican food and Wade, of course, agreed. 

[Well that was satisfying] 

**{Of course it was, nothing is better than bloodshed}**

“Ooh you are right indeed Yellow, nothing can top unaliving assholes who sell kids.” 

Wade puts his katanas back into his holders and walks out of the warehouse into the busy streets of New York, “So guys what should we do now? I’m thinking about a Golden Girls marathon and a mountain load of tacos before taking another job.” 

Okay so maybe it was Wade who suggested tacos but between us, it was the boxes, what they don’t know won’t kill them.

[ _That’s_ better than killing dickwads who sells children] 

**{Nope. It’s a close second}**

“Whitey, you’re right! Yellow, why so serious?” 

The people around him probably thought he was the most insane person they’ve ever seen, with the full arsenal he has on him and the addition of him talking to himself well the boxes but no one else knew that. The people of New York most likely knew of the crazy Merc with a Mouth and probably knew to steer clear of him because approaching Wade was the craziest thing that anyone could think of. 

**{I thought you liked killing, no in fact you love doing it. It’s no doubt, meat face.}**

[He’s got a point] 

“Woah Woah _Woah,_ when was this the verbally torture Wade bandwagon?” 

[Since you got stuck with us] 

“Ha...true.” 

* * *

Wade walked down the street until he stood in front of the gates of Heaven. Not literally because there was no way that he was getting into Heaven with all the murder and constant trial and error on his record. 

He walked into the Mexican restaurant and instantly felt at home, although it wouldn’t necessarily be a lie because he goes to that one restaurant so much they know his order so it was home, in retrospect. 

“Dónde está la biblioteca?” 

**{Dumbass.}**

The lady at the counter looked up and rolled her eyes, “You know you just asked where the library is, right?” 

“Potato, potahto” 

“Your usual order?” 

“Yes ma’am, those chimichangas are calling my name!” 

“Coming right up. Oh, and by the way, some dude over there is asking for you.” 

Wade turned towards the tables in the back of the restaurant and he instantly groaned, seeing Nick Fury was never good, “Can we make that order to-go?” 

The lady nodded and he made his way to the tables where Nick Fury and some chick were sitting. “Nicky, baby, whose balls did I have to fondle to see your wonderful face on this fine day,” Wade said, as he sat in the booth. 

Nick was not amused, “Deadpool. I am on official S.H.I.E.L.D. business and _you_ are coming with us.” 

“Ooo straight to the point. I like that but only when there’s full penetrative sex involved because otherwise, you won’t have my attention, and who is this foxy lady?” Wade asked, once he was done with his rant and looked towards the lady sitting next to Fury. 

The lady sitting next to Fury was also a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and Wade just fell in love, he was not supposed to be involved with the government, who is he kidding? He stays involved with the government. This time he would love to take part in other things with the beautiful, sexy, brown-haired fox sitting next to the reject Master Windu. 

“Deadpool? Deadpool?! _Wade?!”_

He shook his head, shaking away the inappropriate thoughts flooding his mind, damn if he wasn’t going to take his chimichangas and run out the door he would stay and undress the mini Black Widow. 

“Hush, Master Windu with an eyepatch. You? What’s your name?” 

“Anything you want it to be.” 

Wade swore he just died, “Am I high? I have to be high.” 

[Fully sober. No cocaine in our system.] 

**{No I’m with Wade this time, this lady was made for us on a computer. Is it Christmas?”}**

“Is it Christmas?” Wade said aloud. 

Peter smiled and blushed, “Definitely not Christmas and I think your food is ready.” 

“Fuck the food. I’ll go wherever you’re going, baby.” 

Peter hummed. “You don’t wanna go where I’m going.” 

Wade groaned and turned to Nick who, again, was unamused. “Where the hell did you snatch up this fine piece of ass?" 

Nick cracked a small smile. “This is Peter, one of my best S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and she is here to help bring your trigger happy ass in.” 

Wade contemplated his options, weighing the pros and cons of the situation. On one hand, he could just take his chimichangas which by the way, are sitting on the counter in a greasy bag or he could simply take his chimichangas and follow Peter to the place where he doesn’t belong. So many beautiful options, “Tell me why I am going to your wonderland of convicted felons?”

“Because that’s what you are. A convicted felon but I do have an opportunity for you if you wanna take the job of course.” 

Wade looked at Fury for a moment before turning to Peter and looking her over, everything about her was gorgeous from the freckles on her face to the legs that were crossed underneath the table. Her hair was voluminous and long, almost hitting her chest which Wade was (not so subtly) staring at and again Wade knew he had to be dreaming so something because she was unreal. 

**{She’s fucking..damn it, I have nothing}**

[HA! You’re fucking speechless, this chick is the thing that’s finally making you shut the fuck up] 

**{Come on, White. Look at her.}**

Wade just let Yellow and White argue in his head, Yellow was spewing out awful things that he wanted to do with her and not in the murderous kind of way and White was trying to deny that Peter wasn’t doing things to him. “Peter pumpkin eater, baby, the apple of my eye, I think I should just not go at all, what do you think?” 

Peter smirked in a devious way and leaned closer to Wade, “I think if you don’t come then we’ll have to take in you the hard way” 

“Kinky.” 

Wade thought it over and finally made his decision, “Well Nicky, this has been fun. Petey-pie, you have my heart, and also this is for you.” Wade said, pulling out a business card and handing it to her. 

When he got up he barely made it to the front counter before he fell to the floor face first, feeling electrical shocks throughout his body, “Fucking hell.” 

Peter walked behind Wade and cuffed both of his hands together using S.H.I.E.L.D handcuffs that were designed for otherworldly enemies and not for a simple mercenary, “Sorry but we gotta bring you in one way or another.” 

* * *

So that’s how he ended up in a cell in S.H.I.E.L.D. Headquarters almost feeling angry at the method used to take him but Peter was smart and hot so he let her get away with it. 

“Hey, this is mean! You can’t just use your hottest agent to bring me in, it hurts.” 

[Dude shut up!]

**{I’m still thinking about Peter in that S.H.I.EL.D. suit she looked so good}**

“Yellow you know the way to a man's heart.” 

Wade talked to himself the whole time in the cell and making everyone else lose their minds even the other felons were telling him to shut up and of course, the boxes are always siding with anyone BUT Wade, he was used to that though. He was talking to Yellow about missing Golden Girls when he saw a piece of paper slide through the slit of the door, he looked down and picked up the piece of paper. 

_Hey Red, I know you’re probably feeling terrible in that lonely cell but I have a game for you. Tell them you’ll take the job and next time we see each other at taco joint it’ll be me and you but you’ll have to catch me first. Whaddya say Red? You in?_

_P.S. If you manage to catch me then I’m all yours xo._

_\- Peter_

[Holy.]

**{Fuck.}**

“Peter you are in deep shit now.” 

_And so the game begins…._

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade manages to catch Peter and now Peter is Wade’s

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i originally planned to only have one chapter but then i wanted to do another chapter about their game.
> 
> i have never written female smut before so idk if this is good but you know no regrets so i hope it’s good and i hope you guys enjoy this chapter

* * *

After Peter slid the note underneath Wade’s cell door she walked back to the main floor of S.H.I.E.L.D. Headquarters with a smile on her face. It had been a few hours since their “conversation” at the Mexican restaurant and Peter hadn’t taken her mind off of everything Wade said. 

Wade was someone who just pulled her in and tugged at her heartstrings and she wanted to know what it was like to give herself fully to him. 

“Miss Parker?” 

Peter turned around and was face to face with Phil Coulson, “Yes?” 

“Nick needs you to meet him in the interrogation room.” 

Peter smiled, “Okay. Thank you, Mr.Coulson.” 

“Miss Parker, be careful with Deadpool. He seemed to change his mind rather quickly, did you say something  to him?”

“Good girls never kiss and tell, Phil.” 

Peter walked away with a smile on her way to the interrogation room which contained Wade and her boss. She was thinking about all the possibilities that could happen while she was present, and if Wade would actually take the job or just use her note as an excuse to be let free. 

She opened the door and walked into the room, feeling the intense gaze of Wade on her the whole time and even when she sat down. 

“So Wade, now you’re willing to take the job? Why?” 

Wade looked Peter directly in her eyes, “Maybe I have a new mindset and really want to change my ways.” 

Peter smiled but quickly covered it up when Fury looked in her direction, “Wade, you’re not known to just change your mind so quickly.” 

“Well, Petey, you don’t really know me. At all. Let’s not assume things.” 

“What if my assumptions and opinions are correct?” 

“I don’t think you’ll be right, baby, but you can try.” 

Peter loved the way Wade’s voice sounded, how gruff and husky it was. It made her feel different, no one had ever made her feel the way Wade made her feel and she liked it. 

“I need you to sign a contract which says that you will only kill someone when  _ necessary,  _ and that’s an order, you break this contract and you will be back in this cell with no notice of when you’ll be getting out. Understood?” 

“Understood, Patchy.” 

Wade signed the contract and Fury quickly took the papers the minute he signed them also explaining that he would call him asap for his first mission and to stand by, Fury and Peter left the room and walked down the hallway close to the main quad of the headquarters. Fury told Peter that was going to file Deadpool’s files and to set up his first assignment and that Peter was free to leave whenever she wanted. 

Peter was walking back to the lockers ready to go after the long she had at work, she was gathering her things out of her locker when she was suddenly pushed up against the locker by the one and only Deadpool. 

“Mmh baby, I caught you.” 

“This doesn’t count. You have to wait.” 

Wade pouted, “But Petey-pie, I deserve it. I took the job and I’ve finally caught you, please c’mon.” 

“No, but I’ll give you some motivation to finish your mission early. Fury is setting up your mission file right now, so with that being said you have to be good merc and wait for me.” 

Peter slowly started to pull up Wade’s mask, just stopping past his nose exposing his lips to Peter. Without even seeing the rest of his face she knew that Wade was attractive, the structure of his jaw and the growing stubble on his jaw. 

Peter placed her hands on either side of Wade's face, feeling every prick of the growing beard on his face, and brought her lips on Wade’s. The way it felt was amazing, the way their lips slotted together and how everything was perfect. 

“See? Now that you have a little incentive, you can go on your mission and think about me the whole time.” 

Wade was stunned, how could Peter be a little minx but it was also expected by the way she talked to him at the Mexican restaurant. “Baby if you think that I’m not gonna think about you the whole time then you have another thing coming.” 

Peter giggled, “Oh Wade, I’m glad you’ll have me on your mind.” 

Wade smirked, pulling Peter flush against him, eliciting a gasp from her, kissing her with full force making sure she would never forget it. Gripping her hips, hopefully leaving marks underneath the skin-tight suit she had on, Wade pulled away to look at Peter and she looked dazed, Wade was proud.

“Okay, that’s fair,” Peter said with a nod. 

“Now you’ll be thinking of me the whole time I’m gone and when I get back I’m gonna make sure I stay on your mind 24/7.” 

Peter bit her lip, “I hope you live up to that promise.” 

Wade pecked her lips and left the locker room leaving Peter behind to gather the rest of her things, she picked up her bag and took out her phone programming Wade’s number into it and sending a text and then leaving the locker room. 

Wade made it out of S.H.I.E.L.D. Headquarters and felt a buzzing in his suit, pulling out his cellphone and reading the text. 

_ xxx-xxx-xxxx: You better keep your promise when you find me and I'm yours ;)  _

**Wade: I’m gonna hold you to that..literally**

_ Peter: You better.  _

With that Wade prepared for Fury’s text about his first mission and prepared to finally make Peter his. 

* * *

_ 2 weeks later… _

Peter was heading home from a long day doing recon for S.H.I.E.L.D. and helping the Avengers gather intel for their next mission, Peter would be lying if she said she didn’t miss Wade because the last two weeks of constant texting and a few phone calls made Peter miss Wade something fierce. 

She had heard that Wade was supposed to come back this week but Wade never told her that he was returning any time soon. She had so much pent up frustration that she felt like she was going to explode, her middle and index finger had never been more cramped. 

Wade’s voice was so intoxicating and arousing that she couldn’t help herself whenever they talked on the phone. Wade was like a drug and Peter expected to overdose sooner or later and hopefully, it was soon. 

What Peter didn’t was that there was a certain merc following her. 

* * *

Wade was following Peter from a distance, making sure she didn’t catch on to what he was doing but he was finally back in New York and he was going to fulfill his promise. 

[Damn look at her. She’s gorgeous.] 

**{Oh now you have something to say about her.}**

[I’ve been saying something about her for weeks] 

**{You’re just trying butt in and trying to keep her for yourself}**

“Shut it. Both of you, she’s not for either of you, she’s for me.” 

**{It would be nice if you shared}**

“No, she’s mine and only mine.” 

Wade finally managed to catch up with Peter and follow her inside, all the up to her apartment and now that may seem creepy that he was following Peter but she never specified how to catch her so he took the easy way out. 

She was currently outside of her door and Wade pressed up behind her and she gasped, “I caught you, baby.” 

Peter sighed in relief and turned around in Wade’s arms, “How’d you find me?” 

“I followed you. That sounded way better in my head.” 

Peter laughed, “Probably. Yeah.” 

Wade tucked a piece of hair behind Peter’s ear, leaning down to whisper in her ear, “I think we should go inside and I think I should make good on my promise.” 

Peter’s heart started beating faster, her breath picking up and coming out slowly trying to process everything, “Uh w-we should definitely do that.” 

Peter turned around to unlock the door but quickly got distracted when Wade placed kisses all along her neck, his hand roaming her body without missing a spot. “Baby, open the door.” 

Peter moaned lowly, “I’m trying, Wade but you’re distracting me.” 

Wade hummed, “Distracting huh?” When Peter nodded, he started grinding against her, and when the door finally opened they almost fell in. 

Wade kicked the door closed and pushed Peter up against the wall, kissing her with ferocity tilting his head to get better leverage and maneuvering Peter’s head so their lips could slot together perfectly. 

Peter moaned into the kiss, she had waited for this for two weeks and she wanted more, she wanted any and everything that Wade had to offer and nothing less. She parted her lips to give Wade permission and she moaned loudly when Wade’s tongue slid in next to hers, they fought for dominance and Peter loved every second of the kiss, letting Wade completely consume her. 

Wade pulled back and they were both out of breath, heavy breathing was the only sound in the room. Wade looked down at Peter’s clothes and wanted them off immediately, she had on a simple t-shirt and jeans after leaving from work, “We should really explore the idea of a strip show.” 

“For me or for you?” 

“For you, Petey, your body looks beautiful even if I can’t see it yet. I can tell.” 

Peter grinned and pushed up against Wade, the front of her body grinding up against Wade’s erection and she gasped, Wade was big  _ everywhere _ and Peter loved it. Her body was having a reaction to everything Wade was doing even if it was simply just kissing, the heat that was pooling around her gut was hard to ignore. 

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” 

“You first, baby.” 

Peter pulled off her shirt revealing her bra, moaning when Wade cupped one of her breasts she wanted to get the bra off so she could feel everything, “Okay unless you want to fuck against this wall, we should go to my room.” 

“I have no problem with fucking you against the wall, I remember saying that I was going to hold you to my promise.” 

“Mm your voice, I love it, Wade,” Peter said, trying to get Wade’s suit off his body. 

“Do you? Does it make you wet?” Wade whispered huskily in her ear. 

Peter nodded, unbuttoning her pants pulling them down, but forgetting she had her shoes on so she untied her shoes and kicked them before pulling her pants all the way down and Wade groaned at the sight, Wade moved his hand down her body and finally stopping at the waistband of her underwear, “There’s no going back after this, you sure about this?” 

“I want this.” 

Wade didn’t say anything as he took off the top of his suit and his gloves before dipping his hand into the waistband of Peter’s underwear, pressing his thumb into Peter’s clit causing her to moan out loud and her knees weak. 

Wade smiled at the reaction and started rotating his thumb slowly around her clit, “Oh baby, you sound so pretty when I play with you like this. You’re already ruined I haven’t even fucked you yet.”

Peter gripped Wade’s shoulders to keep herself upright as Wade inserted two of his fingers into her, moaning out in pleasure right into Wade’s ear. Wade’s fingers were thick and hitting all the right spots and Peter was getting wetter by every thrust of Wade’s fingers. 

“...Wade, Oh  _ shit.”  _

Wade was completely enamored by Peter, taken away by everything that was Peter. “Baby, you sound so pretty.” 

“Fuck, Wade, please go faster.” 

Wade started moving his fingers in and out of Peter’s pussy faster and faster until he started feeling her legs shake from the intensity of it all. Wade stopped and pulled his fingers out of her completely, Peter whined at the loss. 

“Why’d you stop? I was so close to cumming.” 

“Because I can’t wait any longer, I need to fuck you right now.” 

Peter moaned at his words, “Well then, we better get to it.” 

Wade pulled off the rest of his suit and was left in his underwear, Peter gripped his shoulders and kissed Wade. The only sound in the room was the heavy smacking of their lips meeting together and deep groans coming from Wade. 

Wade placed his hands on Peter's thighs lifting her up, she instantly wrapped her legs around his waist ready to be taken by the merc. Wade pulled off his underwear and stared at the sight that was Peter, lips swollen from kissing, eyes dazed in arousal and chest heaving. 

Peter looked down, grabbing Wade’s erection rubbing her hand up and down the length of Wade’s dick that was ready to be inside her. She lifted herself up a little from her position on the wall and sunk down onto Wade, both of them moaning in satisfaction. 

“F-fuck! Wade, you’re so big!” 

Wade placed his hands on Peter’s waist but he didn’t move yet, he wouldn’t move until she was used to him being inside her, “All the better to fuck you.” 

Peter laughed, leaning in to kiss Wade deeply, “So fuck me, Wade.”

“Your wish is my command.” 

Wade pulled all the way out, only leaving in the tip and he thrust back in, doing this over and over while gradually speeding up. Wade was gripping Peter’s hips hard enough to leave marks and Peter hoped he would, Peter was moaning loud enough that people outside of the apartment building could most likely hear her. 

“Wade! Fuck, please.” 

“Please what, baby? Tell me what you need.” 

She moaned out almost sobbing out in pleasure, she met Wade’s thrusts with vigor hoping to cum soon, she’d wanted since the day they met and now they were finally here and she couldn’t stop herself from wanting this every day. 

“Faster, Wade!  _ Please _ !” 

Wade went faster, as fast as he could possibly go and he wasn’t really surprised by Peter’s bossiness, in fact, he loved it. He was going to keep her forever until his last dying breath, well if he could actually die. 

Peter moved her hand down to her clit and started rubbing in time with Wade’s thrusts, moaning every time Wade would thrust harder than the previous one. Her legs were getting tired from being hoisted up the whole time, Peter could feel the desire in her gut getting tighter and tighter until she finally let go. 

“Ooh Wade, I’m cumming.” 

“Me too, baby, me too.” 

Wade thrusts started losing rhythm, hips stuttering as he came inside of Peter. His legs gave out and they both slid down the wall, Wade moved so that Peter was on top of him. 

“Damn,” Wade said while catching his breath. 

Peter giggled and pecked Wade on his lips, “Yeah” 

“Oh shit! We forgot a condom, holy fuck!” 

“Wade! It’s fine. I’m on the pill.” 

“Oh good, honestly I don’t know if I would’ve been able to pull out during that.” 

Peter laughed, “I would’ve killed you.” 

Wade pecked her lips, “We should probably get off the floor.” 

“Probably but you’re getting hard again….you wanna go again?” 

Wade perked up, “OH FUCK YES!”

“We’re doing it in my bed this time. This floor is uncomfortable.” 

“Say no more” 

Wade picked up Peter and led them to her bedroom and shut the door behind him. They weren’t getting any sleep tonight. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed that! it was kinda of hard but i managed to write it out. 
> 
> comments and kudos are appreciated.


End file.
